THE GOSPEL OF TRAVIS - Chapter Eleven

THE PARABLE OF THE TENANTS
Weeks later, a great crowd gathered around Jesus and he told them a parable. As in those days there was not much to do in the way of entertainment, these stories had become quite popular among the people as diversions, although each tale held some hidden truth and many evidently had great difficulty guessing the lesson behind each fable.

The Lord said to them:

“A man planted a vineyard and then leased it to tenant farmers before leaving on a journey. At the proper time, he sent a servant to the tenants to obtain from them some of the produce of the vineyard. They seized him, beat him and sent him away. Again he sent them another servant. And that one they beat over the head. So, too, many others he sent; some they beat and others they killed.

“Finally, he sent his beloved son, thinking ‘They will respect my son.’ But those tenants said to one another, ‘This is the heir. Come, let us kill him, and the inheritance will be ours.’

“What will the owner of the vineyard do?” asked the Lord.

Travis might have offered a guess on the hidden lesson behind the parable, except that he was too busy at the back of the crowd to listen. There he had set up a table upon which sat various trinkets and tokens and devotional items, each themed after Jesus’s ministry and each for sale at a reasonable price.

“Behold,” said Travis to a nearby disciple, “I have these necklaces - each one blessed by the presence of the Lord. The beads spell out a message that says ‘If Jesus were here he would do what?’ I am still tinkering with the phrasing. These beauties are two for the price of one, but only if you buy now. Return to my table later and I make no promises.”

“Amazing,” remarked a customer. “And these little necklaces have been blessed by Jesus himself, you say?”

“Errrr yes, by his presence, for indeed the Lord has cast his eyes upon the packaging once or twice at least.”

The young disciple thought over the transaction, for while he had very little in the way of coin the prospect of owning a piece of jewelry blessed by the presence of the Lord was very enticing. However, just as Travis was about to make the sale, Thomas arrived.

“Cousin, you are distracting the students away from their teacher,” he began before stopping and taking in the enormity of what Travis had set upon the table.

Thomas’s face grew pale, likely with wonder or possibly amazement or maybe even a twinge of jealousy at the great works that Travis clearly had done in the name of the Lord. “What is this, anyway? Why have you set up this table? What are these objects you’ve set here?”

“Oh Thomas,” said Travis, “the time has come for me to use my talents for the glorification of our savior.”

MESSIANIC MERCHANDISE
Thomas scowled. Perhaps a demon or a false spirit had entered him, for suddenly he acted appalled at the very sight of the table and at Travis’s contribution. Or perhaps it was because he could not yet see the brilliance of Travis’s idea. Either way, Thomas sputtered and then exclaimed, “You must pack these objects away before Jesus sees them.”

“But each item has been carefully chosen. Necklaces. Rings. Robes with embroidered sayings of the lord stitched across the front. Is not this clever? A water cup that is engraved with the words ‘But first, Wine.’ Get it? Now behold: I have here commemorative sculptures in the shape of fishes - just like his famous miracle of the loaves and the fishes! We tried crafting little commemorative loaves of bread from clay, but unfortunately those ended up looking like little turds...”

“You do not understand,” said Thomas. “If the Lord sees these, he will be furious with you.”

“Oh please, cousin. Do not fly into hysterics as though you were my first ex-wife. When have you ever seen Jesus furious?

“But speaking of seeing the Lord,” said Travis as he pulled a plaster bust out from behind the table, “I have taken the liberty of designing a sculpture of the Son of Man. A prototype, if you will. My sculptor is still refining it - he’s working on speculation so it hasn’t cost me anything out of pocket, praise be to God. But I wonder if I could get your unbiased thoughts. My experience is that these busts tend to sell best if the features are a bit more, shall we say, Gentile looking. Would you and our brethren Apostles be open to an image of Jesus where his features are less Semitic?”

Thomas took a moment to comprehend what Thomas had just said. “Travis, we’re Jewish. All of us.”

“Yes, but uh, the Romans and the Greeks are very big buyers in the sculpture market. We’d be severely limiting the potential marketplace and doing ourselves a great disservice...”

“You do us all a great disservice right now, in this very instant. Travis, I implore you, pack up your travelling flea market this instant.”

Scorned and sulking, Travis began to stow away his wares. And though he hid his tears from the rest yet he did so weep, for he could not convince his cousin of the beauty and the potential of this opportunity.

ON CAESAR AND MONEY
As Travis worked to put away all of his merchandise, he listened as yet another scribe questioned Jesus. The questioning had become a regular occurrence by the scribes, which Travis found mildly irritating. Just because they can read and write, suddenly these so-called learned men feel they have the right to question whomever they like?

“Rabbi,” began the scribe, “We know you are a truthful man and are not concerned in the least with anyone’s opinion. Tell us, is it lawful to pay the census tax to Caesar or not?”

Jesus said to him, “Why are you testing me? Bring me a denarius to look at.”

As the scribe did so, Travis wondered where Jesus might be going with this and so he fished one out of his own purse.

Pointing to the coin face, Jesus asked, “whose image and inscription is this?”

Travis saw just what the scribe said: “Why, Caesar’s.”

So Jesus said to them, “Repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God.”

Then the Lord turned to the rest of the crowd and asked, “Children, how hard is it for those who have wealth to enter the Kingdom of Heaven?

“Is is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

As he pocketed his denarius, Travis turned to his own camel, now loaded down with bags and bags of his Jesus merchandise, and tightened the last strap.

TRAVIS’S DISCOURSE ON WEALTH
Jesus and his Apostles walked on to their next destination. Travis travelled there as well though, because of the heaviness of the cargo strapped to the burdened beast’s back, his camel could only move so quickly. Before long Travis found himself walking amongst the lesser disciples towards the back of the throng.

As they passed through a small village, a Frankincense merchant sidled up next to Travis. “Greetings to you,” he said. “I recognize you. You were talking to the Apostle Thomas not too long ago.”

“Yes, my cousin, er, second cousin. We’re Apostles together. I’m the thirteenth among them.”

“Ah hah. Then perhaps you can clarify something for me, for I have been greatly distressed by something the teacher said. What do you make of this camel business? I do not often do my own tailoring, but my understanding is that needles are much smaller than camels. Also, if you are the thirteenth Apostle as you claim then why aren’t you up with the other Apostles?”

Travis grimaced at the merchant’s failure to grasp the teacher’s clear and simple meaning, and so began, “I can see how the truth of our Lord’s lesson could have been misinterpreted by one so feeble of mind. No offense.

“But is it not clear? Of course a rich man would have trouble getting into heaven. He would be too burdened with the trappings of his wealth - how would it be possible to float up into the sky if he’s carrying so many coins? The soul is like water. It fills the vessel that it is in, and so can easily flow through a needle’s eye. But a coin is made of metal, which is heavy and solid and does not flow. Much like a camel. So. Uh. There you have it.

“Besides, is there not a gate in Jerusalem called the Needle’s Eye? I seem to remember it. Something about how difficult it is to get a camel through. Am I making this up?”

“I’ve never heard of such a gate,” said the merchant.

“I’m pretty sure that’s real. Yes. So maybe the Lord meant it literally? Who can say?

“Anyway, better to give away your riches on your deathbed. That’s my advice. You live wealthy but you die poor. This is the best of both worlds. Ideally, you could put the money away into a trust and that way the money belongs to the trust and not the individual. You keep all of the benefits of great wealth but avoid all of the downsides.”

In that moment, Travis’s camel spat on his feet.

“And as for the other Apostles, some of them are allergic to camel. So. Better to keep the beast at a distance.”

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