THE GOSPEL OF TRAVIS - Chapter Four

THE SERMON IN THE HILLS

On the next day, Jesus and the disciples went into the hills, where a multitude had gathered from towns near and far to have their diseases cured and to hear the wisdom of the Lord.

Among that multitude was Travis, who hoped to get his hands on a free loaf of bread and some fish in case a feast broke out. For while he did not technically need a hand out and could afford his own food, one less meal bought meant more in the coffers for Travis, besides which the bread might make a fine collectible item to be sold at a later date. Never turn down a free fish.

Soon the Lord began his holy work healing the masses, and once he had removed the burden of leprosy from the backs of a few of the faithful, Jesus stood upon a rock and spoke to the throngs of people there, saying:

THE BEATITUDES

“Blessed are those of you who are poor, for the kingdom of heaven is yours.
“Blessed are those of you who are hungry, for you will be fed.
“Blessed are those of you who weep, for you will soon laugh.
“Blessed are those of you who mourn, for you will receive comfort.
“Blessed are those of you who show mercy, for mercy shall be shown to you.
“Blessed are those of you who are meek, for you shall inherit the land.
“And blessed are those of you who are hated, insulted and denounced for love of me, for behold, your riches await you in heaven.
“But woe to you who are rich on earth, who are filled now and who laugh at the unfortunate.
“Woe to you, for you will receive your consolation.”

THE ADDED BEATITUDE

When the lord had finished speaking, many people were amazed, for indeed even in that instant the mourners were already comforted and those weeping dried their eyes and began to smile.

Some others among the crowd, though, seemed less thrilled.

“What should I make of this,” asked a well-to-do wine trader standing near Travis, “that the poor and the meek should inherit everything, but then woe to the rich of the earth? When he says they will inherit the land, he cannot mean my land, right? He says we rich people will receive our consolation. I am no wordsmith, but consolation sounds suspiciously ominous, no?”

“Oh my simple child, he cannot really mean the rich,” piped up Travis. “He must mean those rich with sin, who have wronged greatly. For those rich in material wealth are why the hungry have any food to begin with.

“Blessed are those who create jobs, I say: the job creators. For they are the shepherds among the sheep.”

And the wine trader nodded, and the wealthy among the people within earshot understood the wisdom of what Travis had said, even though Travis himself often stiffed his plaster sculptors their wages. But these people did not need to know such things. Besides, those sculptors would be grossly overpaid if indeed Travis were to pay them what they had agreed to. They should have known not to ask for such an exorbitant wage, for no business owner in their right mind would ever pay it.

“And who knows?” he continued. “Maybe consolation is a good thing. Like a consolation prize. Maybe he means there will be prizes for us. Who doesn’t like prizes?”

ABOUT CHARITY

The Lord then began to teach about the giving of alms. “Take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them. When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do to win the praise of others. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, and your father who sees in secret will repay you.”

The wine trader turned to Travis. “What do you make of this? How will others know that I have done right if I cannot proclaim it? Am I to be robbed of my prestige too? What is the point of all this? I thought this man was a healer. I came here today to have my gout cured, not to feel bad about myself!”

“This is a proscription against blowing trumpets, nothing more,” Travis assured him. “The important thing is to give some small portion of your wealth, ideally to non-profit organizations that benefit your own personal cultural or political interests in some way.”

And the wine merchant appreciated his wisdom and his suggestions, for such a gift may make a clever way to move some money around and keep it away from the prying eyes of the tax collectors.

ABOUT PUBLIC PRAYER

The Lord continued. “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that people may see them. When you pray, go to your inner room and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father, who sees in secret, will repay you. For your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

“And so you see,” Travis pointed out to the wine trader. “The Father knows that we pray for wealth, and he would not deny us that which we need, for it is a universal truth that we all need money.”

The wine merchant was much comforted. He asked, “Who are you, who interprets the teachings of Jesus in this way, whose words ease my fears and remove my guilt?”

“I am Travis, the thirteenth Apostle.”

“I am glad to know you,” said the wine trader. “But why aren’t you up there, sitting with the other Apostles at the foot of the teacher? Why are you back here with us?”

Travis was struck dumb for a moment, but then said “I suppose I’m a man of the people."

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